Overflowing dressers, that box of memories no one’s touched in years, or a cracked lamp waiting to be fixed “someday” – clutter takes up more space in our homes than we’d like to admit. We all complain but secretly also love to hold on to that nostalgia. (Kahani ghar ghar ki, indeed!)
Ironically, while we cling to old bills, broken chargers, and college T-shirts, our elders never miss a chance to remind us that old or broken things block luck and prosperity. And somewhere between old beliefs and modern nostalgia, we end up holding on to not just stuff, but stress too. And experts say that might be hurting our relationships more than we realise.
According to a US-based survey, around 37 per cent of people admit that their partner’s messiness makes them less attractive. Over 61 per cent also said clutter occasionally causes tension in their relationship.
Based on the responses of about a thousand people in a relationship, the survey offers a nuanced lens into how a cluttered home and untidy habits can gradually weigh heavily on a relationship, both emotionally and physically.
Clutter and chaos in relationships
It’s not uncommon for people to clean their desks or their spaces when they feel overwhelmed. For some, it’s a way to clear mental chaos and regain a sense of control. In fact, cluttered and unorganised spaces can take a serious toll on mental health.
Naturally, it spills into relationships too, and experts agree.
Living in a messy environment often creates a constant sense of chaos and discomfort, which can reduce patience and emotional closeness between partners.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a Delhi-based marriage counsellor, says, “Over time, one partner may start feeling that the other lacks responsibility, discipline, or respect for shared space, all of which are qualities linked to attraction and trust.”
Apart from emotions, clutter can even change how your home feels.
“It (clutter) often creates stress, anxiety, and irritability, eventually leading to the blame game. On the contrary, an organised home and wardrobe can help maintain a calm, happy, and pleasant environment. When things are in order and easily accessible, it can turn daily living into a soothing, even relaxing experience,” Dr Sanjay Kumawat, consultant psychiatrist and sexologist, Fortis Hospital, Mulund, Mumbai, tells India Today.
When mess kills the mood
Physical intimacy can also take a hit due to unhygienic living habits. “Cluttered spaces make relaxation and romance harder to cultivate. A messy room filled with unwashed clothes or disorganised items can subconsciously create irritation or even mild resentment,” Sadhoo explains.
For some, this becomes a deal breaker, not just because of the mess itself, but because it represents a mismatch in values and lifestyle priorities that affect day-to-day connection and long-term compatibility.
In fact, studies suggest that when there is uneven distribution of household chores between partners, it may as well lead to divorce.
And that’s not just it.
Clutter often says more about the relationship than just poor housekeeping. It can reflect emotional disconnect, avoidance, or quiet power struggles between partners. “Sometimes, leaving things around is an unconscious way of saying, ‘I’m tired of being told what to do.’ On the flip side, the partner who’s always cleaning might just be trying to regain control when everything else feels shaky,” Sadhoo adds.
Finding the middle ground
Let’s be honest, in Indian households, letting go is an art few have mastered. And in 2025, with Instagram-perfect homes, decore has quietly turned into a performance too. The pressure to have an “aesthetic” space is real, even if it means hiding the mess minutes before guests arrive.
But somewhere between chaos and control lies comfort and finding that middle ground can do wonders for your mental health and your relationship.
Experts believe one should start with empathy and avoid blame. Talk about what clean or comfortable actually means to each of you. Once that’s clear, divide chores based on schedules and strengths. Even ten minutes of decluttering together can turn cleaning into connection.
The key is to treat cleanliness as a shared value. A tidy space is more than just about appearance, it’s about creating emotional calm and respect for one another’s comfort.
Takeaway
What looks like harmless clutter often hides a lot of negative energy underneath. It’s not just about superstition after all, there’s science and sentiment too, and both must be handled carefully.
Experts agree that disorganised homes affect mental health, relationships, cortisol levels, and more. Much like the internet’s “poop rule,” there are a hundred and one ways to declutter your home. One just needs to find what works for you.
At the end of the day, love can be blind, but clutter? That’s something no one can unsee.
