It is not easy to forget the people you once loved, especially if the person was once your best friend who suffered a tragic and untimely death. A 22-year-old woman went through this experience and decided to celebrate the birthday of her former partner every year.
However, her current partner did not feel comfortable with the situation. The woman, therefore, shared her story on the popular subreddit, r/AITAH, and asked the community if she was in the wrong.
Celebrating the boyfriend who passed away…
The OP began her post by stating that at the age of 18, she was dating her long-time best friend. After five months of being together, the man tragically lost his life in a car accident along with his cousin while returning from a football game.
The tragedy greatly moved her, and she decided to remember him by buying a cupcake and lighting a candle on his birthday every year since, celebrating his life and the life he could have had.
Over the last year, the OP got into a new relationship with Sam, 33, whom she claimed to love and see a future with. On the day before her late friend’s birthday, when she purchased the traditional cupcake and candle, Sam asked her what they were for.
“So I sat him down and explained the lore behind it all. He seemed to be ok with it at first, but was then uncomfortable that I was celebrating my dead boyfriend,” she wrote on Reddit. “I tried to reason with him, but it just didn’t work and only led to an argument where he got up and left.”
Later, when she shared what had happened with her friends, some of them told her that she should have stopped celebrating her ex-boyfriend after getting into a new relationship. They argued that it can be a strange sight, and the action can “threaten a potential husband.”
Redditors believe OP did no wrong
When the OP asked for the community’s opinion, netizens on Reddit loudly stated that she was not in the wrong and that her current boyfriend should not have felt that way.
“You haven’t been dating this guy for even a year and he’s acting like this. Not even a year and he’s basically telling you that he expects to be the centre of your universe and that you need to forget about your past and never remind him that you had a life before him. And you have friends basically agreeing with him,” wrote a person. “Sounds like you need a new boyfriend and new friends.”
“He’s not your ex, he’s your late boyfriend. People who are jealous of dead people are not good people,” pointed out another.
“If this celebration threatens a potential husband, then he’s not a potential husband anymore. Dump him. He’s not mature enough,” noted a third.
“I absolutely understand why you want to remember your friend. It is a red flag that your BF doesn’t understand and respect it,” claimed a fourth.
“Your boyfriend is wrong and so are your friends. You’re not celebrating an ex-boyfriend. You’re honouring someone precious to you whose life was tragically cut short. The only acceptable response from a current partner is ‘I’m sorry for your loss: what do you need from me to comfort you on this significant day?’” highlighted a fifth.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
