After office hours end, another shift begins at home. For many mothers like me, this hidden workload affects both mental and physical health.
When my workday ends, I don’t get to rest. Instead, I begin what experts now call the “invisible second shift”, unpaid household and caregiving work that continues late into the night.
I recently followed advice shared by Dr Neha Singhania, a consultant obstetrician-gynaecologist who regularly speaks about women’s health and emotional well-being.
In one of her posts, she described how Indian mothers return from office only to cook, check homework, speak to in-laws, respond to office messages, and still try to smile through exhaustion.
Her message felt personal. Loving my job and loving my child does not protect me from burnout.
WHY I REALISED I WAS BURNING OUT
For a long time, I thought I was just tired. But by 9 pm most nights, I felt drained, irritable, and overwhelmed. I was physically present at home but emotionally exhausted.
Doctors say this constant juggling creates physical fatigue and emotional guilt. In my case, it showed up as:
- Chronic stress
- Poor sleep
- Mood swings
- Constant anxiety about “not doing enough”
Over time, I came to understand something important: my body is not designed for non-stop performance.
Like many women, I did not complain because I felt I “should” manage everything. Society expects mothers to be perfect at work and perfect at home. I tried to live up to that expectation until I realised it was hurting me.
SMALL DAILY RITUALS THAT PROTECTED MY MENTAL HEALTH
Dr Neha Singhania recommends realistic solutions, not perfection. I decided to follow her advice for a few weeks. The difference was noticeable.
HERE ARE FIVE STRATEGIES THAT HELPED ME:
1. I CREATED A 15-MINUTE ARRIVAL RITUAL
When I come home, I put my phone away. I hug my child. We share a small snack, read a short story, or play a quick game. I stopped trying to compensate with hours of distracted time. Quality matters more than quantity.
2. I STOPPED DOING EVERYTHING ALONE
Earlier, I would say, “It’s okay, I’ll manage.” Now I ask clearly: “You handle bath time today.”
Specific requests work better than general ones. I realised asking for help does not make me weak.
3. I LET GO OF THE ‘IDEAL MOM’ MYTH
Some days dinner is simple. The house is not spotless. My child needs a calm mother more than a fancy meal. This shift reduced so much pressure.
4. I SET ONE WORK BOUNDARY
I chose one small limit: no non-urgent calls after a fixed time. Even this small boundary reduced my stress levels.
5. I SCHEDULED A WEEKEND REFILL
I take 30 minutes just for myself, a quiet walk, tea alone, or a short nap. It is not selfish. It is maintenance.
THE HEALTH IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL GUILT
I did not realise how harmful “mom guilt” could be. When I constantly felt I was not doing enough, my stress never switched off.
Doctors say prolonged stress can increase the risk of:
- High blood pressure
- Diabetes
- Heart disease
- Postpartum mental health challenges
- Relationship strain
Dr Singhania reminds mothers that if we are juggling work and home every day, we are not failing, we are carrying a lot.
That line stayed with me.
THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL WEAKNESS
I now understand this is not just my struggle. It is a larger public health issue.
Unpaid care work is real work. Emotional labour is real labour. Until workplaces and families fully recognise this, many women will continue to burn out silently.
But while larger systems change slowly, small personal boundaries can protect our health.
I am not a superhero. I am a working mother with limits.
The invisible second shift may not appear on my resume, but it affects me every single day. Following Dr Neha Singhania’s practical advice showed me that small, consistent changes can protect my mental and physical health.
The goal is not perfection.
It is sustainability.
Because when I stay healthy, my family stays strong.
