Breastfeeding is often romanticised as the most natural part of motherhood. But for countless women, it can feel like an emotional and physical trial by fire. Leading paediatrician Dr Madhavi Bharadwaj says the biggest mistake society makes is assuming that every new mother instinctively knows how to breastfeed.
The expectation, she explained, is automatic: once you become a mother, milk will come in, feeding will fall into place, and nurturing will feel seamless.
THE FIRST 45 DAYS
Speaking on a podcast with India Today, the Chandigarh-based doctor described the first 45 days after childbirth as the most turbulent period in a woman’s life.
Sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, physical recovery and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn collide all at once. “Your mind is completely blown,” she said, capturing the disorientation many mothers quietly endure.
In those early weeks, the baby becomes the centre of everyone’s attention. Visitors arrive for the newborn. Phone calls are about the infant.
Advice flows freely about feeding schedules and weight gain. Meanwhile, the mother — healing, exhausted and often anxious — can begin to feel invisible.
Dr Bharadwaj underlined that while the world gathers around the baby, new mothers also need someone there just for her.
That emotional anchoring, she suggests, is not a luxury but a necessity. Because breastfeeding is not just mechanical. It is deeply psychological.
STRESS VS MILK SUPPLY
Stress plays a powerful biological role in how well breastfeeding works. The release of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for the milk ejection or “let-down” reflex, is highly sensitive to a mother’s emotional state.
When stress levels rise, cortisol triggers a fight-or-flight response that can inhibit milk flow. The result can be reduced supply, fussier babies, painful engorgement and mounting frustration — a cycle that reinforces anxiety and makes feeding even harder.
The assumption that breastfeeding is purely instinctive overlooks the fact that it is also a learnt skill.
POSITIONING & LATCH MATTER
Frequent feeding — often eight to twelve times in 24 hours — helps build supply. Some babies benefit from alternating breasts multiple times in a session, while others respond better to finishing one breast per feed to increase fat intake.
Skin-to-skin contact after feeding, often called kangaroo care, has been shown to boost milk production. Pumping after feeds can signal the body to produce more milk, and relaxation techniques can help restore let-down when stress interferes.
Professional guidance can be critical for some.
Early consultation with a lactation expert can correct small issues before they spiral into major setbacks. In certain cases, mothers may discuss herbal supplements such as fenugreek or medications with their obstetrician- gynaecologist to support milk supply.
Equally important, Dr Bharadwaj emphasises, is the role of new fathers. Practical help with household tasks, shared responsibility for the baby, and steady emotional reassurance can significantly reduce maternal stress.
Lower stress levels support oxytocin release, which in turn improves milk flow. Breastfeeding success, she argues, is not solely the mother’s burden — it is shaped by the surrounding ecosystem.
The myth that breastfeeding is effortless can leave women feeling isolated when it is not.
The truth is far more complex. It is hormonal, emotional, exhausting and often overwhelming. And in those first 45 days especially, mothers do not just need advice about feeding the baby – they need support, protection and care for themselves.
